The Hoffman Process: The World-Famous Technique That Empowers You to Forgive Your Past, Heal Your Pre Sent, and Transform Your Future by Tim Laurence

Author:Tim Laurence [Laurence, Tim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, General, Nonfiction, Personal Growth, Spiritual, Emotions
ISBN: 9780307418494
Google: Tejp6adenR4C
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2007-12-18T00:23:57.332523+00:00

LEAVING THE PAST BEHIND: FINDING BALANCE IN THE QUADRINITY

By learning to recognize these carryovers from the past, you can prevent any self-sabotage and respond to the actual people you meet. You can learn to respond rather than being emotionally hijacked by old patterns of behavior. If it’s at the start of a relationship, remember to catch yourself before lighting the explosive fuse. Marianne Williamson put it very aptly in her book Return to Love: The problem is not that you met him, the problem is that you gave him your phone number.

You can teach the rational part of your mind, the intellect, to be aware as well as to warn of possible danger in a relationship. Your intellect can prevent potential disasters by recognizing unsuitable partners, for example! Meanwhile, you will have to acknowledge your emotional self for its response, especially if the response is one that takes you out of your power. If you feel overly needy with someone, or hurt or angry, imagine that you are speaking with compassion to a vulnerable child inside you, and say firmly but lovingly, “No, you and I do not need to go there again.” Saying “no” to old patterns, and meaning it, is itself a powerful move toward self-healing and integration. The next move is to recognize that there is enough love already within you, once you move down through the various levels of emotion (see Chapter 8).

Meanwhile, another strong inner voice of direction can come from your spiritual self. Stay in touch with your vision of what you want in a relationship (see page 35). See how you want to share your life with this person and how easy it is to be with them. Envision the joy, laughter, and creativity you can enjoy together. Your spiritual self is the part of your Quadrinity most connected to your eternal truth. In moments of silence, drop into its pool of wisdom and you will be guided to choices based on love, not fear.

These voices inside your intellect, emotions, and spiritual selves make up the three nonphysical aspects of your Quadrinity. Remember to check in with the aspects again and again until it feels completely natural, like getting up in the morning. These three are learning to work together as a supportive team with your best interests at heart because of the work you completed in the first half of this book. Of course, it’s challenging to change such deeply ingrained relationship patterns, but you need to break out of them to build healthy relationships.

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